If you’re expecting double delight then here are a few twin tips shared by parenting coach and mom of 3 (including a pair of fraternal twins), Celeste Rushby, on how to raise a perfect pair…
Encourage a healthy identity.
Aim to raise your twins to become interdependent not co-dependent. It’s unhealthy for twins to have an identity that is defined as being the other half of their twin as this will lead to anxiety at their twin’s absence and a lowered sense of self-worth as an individual.
Celebrate their differences.
Twins are never born with the same temperaments – even identical twins. They may appear to have similar personalities and interests because they spend so much time together, but their core temperament is something unique that they are born with.
Treat them uniquely.
If your twins are identical, you may think it is cute to make them little duplicates of each other with matching outfits and hairstyles, but this could actually be detrimental. Allow each twin to express their individuality through their appearance. Give them something subtle that helps other children tell them apart quickly. Perhaps the one has a fringe and the other doesn’t or one wears red, orange and yellow, and the other wears blue and green.
Carve out time.
Your twins need to each have regular one-on-one time with each parent. If they are under 4 and a half years then each parent should aim for 10-20 minutes a day alone with each twin.
Don’t share everything.
It’s okay to have a shared party and to make one cake instead of two, but make sure there is something about each of your twins is represented on the cake. Then sing happy birthday to each of them individually and let them each blow out their own set of candles. Also buy them each their own (different) gift. They are individual human beings and need to be treated as such even if they share a birth date.
Treat them differently, love them equally.
This will help your twins grow into confident individuals while maintaining their beautifully tight twin bond.