The heartbreak of infertility is something I do not wish upon anyone… Struggling to conceive is one of the hardest journeys I have faced during my life, if not the hardest. The 16 barren months I experienced while trying to fall pregnant with my second child were a soul-destroying time with very little hope and a lot of despair!
Month after month I would ride the rollercoaster of TTC (trying to conceive). And it was not made any easier by the fact that I had already birthed a child. Secondary infertility is just as painful to deal with and can be even more painful as you struggle to come to terms with the fact that your child might never have the same sibling relationship you so enjoyed. Each month that passed I remember adding up the months to work out what the age gap would be now… The grief I experienced each month with the arrival of my cycle was very real – like losing a loved one – someone that hadn’t even been conceived yet!
During that year and a half I become someone even I didn’t recognize. Angry, bitter, jealous, depressed, lonely. I clung to my faith, my family and my friends. I decided to be quite vocal about my struggle to conceive, although many choose not to reveal their inner torment, but sometimes this made things harder! During this time 2 of my closet family members had to reveal to me that they were pregnant and I remember feeling like they had personally wounded me, the pain was almost physical – a knife to my heart! I know they found it hard to tell me too and that their pregnancies had nothing to do with me, at any other time I would have been thrilled by the arrival of their bundles but right then I couldn’t bring myself to see them!
I am a BIG planner – I love to be in control of everything and this was a process I had NO control over – a real test of my patience! I still tried my best to be in control though! Standard advice recommends seeing a doctor after failing to fall pregnant for a year if you’re under 30 as I was at the time but I decided after 6 months to take matters into my own hands! I had super long cycles with absolutely no regularity and had previously been diagnosed with PCOS so knew something was up! PCOS is well known to cause problems with conceiving so I booked my appointment with the gynae and asked for answers! Obviously he couldn’t say much except to keep trying! A few months later and still nothing so I opted to try Clomid – often recommended for women who aren’t ovulating, which was my particular problem. I also sent my husband off for his own checks at this point – although he wasn’t too pleased with me about this! 3 months of Clomid and still nothing…. Let it be said that by now even my husband was losing interest – even guys find “performing” on demand a bit tiresome after a while! For a while he started to feel a bit like a “sperminator” – his word, not mine 😉
At this point I was gearing up for whatever it took. I started to educate myself via the internet – forums, websites and blogs all helped me with support and info. I started to look into natural health options such as Natural Progesterone Cream and visited a Nutritional Therapist who prescribed various changes to my diet such as no sugar plus a line up of supplements and vitamins including Co-enzyme 10 and a list of others I can’t recall now! And I continued to pray of course! Fortunately for us it wasn’t long after I stopped the Clomid and took a 3 month break that we did finally fall pregnant – naturally! Today that miracle child is 2 and a half and there are moments when I can’t quiet believe she is actually here. I am so very blessed by her arrival!
Unfortunately, not every story has the same outcome as mine – so many potential parents find themselves in a position where they are desperate for their own child but not able to conceive naturally. This is where you need to explore the other options available to you. And there are so many!
It is so encouraging to know that there are doctors out there constantly working towards making parenthood a reality for those who want it enough! It’s not always an easy road to walk – in fact it’s downright hard and can be very taxing on your body, your finances and your relationship – but there is hope!
Vitalab is one such place – a leading fertility clinic in South Africa that helps couples with a wide range of fertility issues as well as single women who want to start a family, same-sex couples and even couples who hope to conceive via a surrogate. They aim to assist everyone, no matter their background, to overcome infertility and fulfill their dreams of having a family without having to wait years before making that a reality!
The Vitalab website is a great source of information on infertility issues as well as procedures available to those struggling to conceive. Recently Vitalab have launced an infomative Facebook page where they aim to provide insight and information to those starting to explore their fertility treatment options.
Wherever you might be on your journey I wish you the very best and hope and pray that a happy ending awaits you! Good luck!