In a work, that is my life lately… I don’t know what has happened but lately my life is spinning… out of control, off it’s axis.
I’m trying so hard to keep it all together but failing dismally at most.
I suppose that is the way of the modern mom. Trying. Balancing. Juggling. Failing. Trying again!
As a semi A-type I am feeling all sorts of guilt and frustration at the current state of affairs but truth be told I’m not quite sure what to do about it all. Everything still needs to be done. Nothing can be pushed to the side and ignored. Life continues at it’s dizzying pace and I need to keep up.
Not one to complain usually, I must apologise for this download… but my current “To Do” list is frightening. The big balls I’m trying to keep up in the air include (but are not limited to)….
2 Social Media accounts – This doesn’t sound like a lot but these both include daily content writing & community management and as much as I love writing I am finding it a battle to be online ALL THE TIME to ensure I don’t miss a trick in this fast paced world. I love this work and am so grateful to have it and the income and flexibility it provides but sometimes I wonder if I’m young enough for social media 😉 I’m almost 36 and competing with kids 15 years younger than me.
2 Children – not a huge amount but with each child comes a whole other LIFE. In fact each child is a job in and of itself. My child spacing of 3.5 years of which I have been rather smug in the past is now coming back to bite me in the bum as one is now in Grade 4 with a vast increase in workload. (Just this very evening we have had fights about spelling words and an English Oral due tomorrow!) The other is in Grade R at a new to her school and that comes with a whole other level of involvement as I’m trying my darndest to get her settled in with the teacher, the school, new friends, playdates. It’s hectic esp as I’m having to fit this all in around her brothers sports schedule which happens everyday INCLUDING Saturday mornings!! They finish at different times on different days and have different extra-murals and friends and matches and parties. Shew. Parenting = it gets harder! (P.S. Respect for moms with more than 2… I REALLY don’t know how you do it!)
1 Birthday Party – The youngest is turning 6 on Monday. Hooray. Except that means a party. I know there are moms out there that L-O-V-E planning parties and do so for 6 months each year. In theory I love parties. Just not when I have to plan them, and buy the stuff, and pack the party packs, and bake the cake, and plan the entertainment, and wrap the pass-the-parcel and worry a million times that I’ve got enough eats for the adults. PLUS we’ve had the added pressure of having to move this party, not once, but TWICE! Yip the first time due to a party clash and the second due to the squall arriving in Cape Town tomorrow… Fun Times. Anyway if you’re the praying kind keep me in your prayers this coming week as I head towards the finish line…
1 House Renovation – Yes, we’re renovating! I know, I know, this ranks up there with THE most stressful things you can do to yourself… Silly us. BUT we’ve been living in our very sweet little space for over 14 years (it was our Wedding Anniversary yesterday!) and it’s time for me to get my own en-suite bathroom. Showering with an audience of teethbrushers every morning is getting to me now! So I’ve been spending my days driving around Cape Town getting a bazillion quotes on everything from flooring to taps to switches to plugs. It’s been crazy busy. I’m someone who has an idea of what I like but when it comes to making the final decisions I struggle. So many choices. So much to consider. Not least of which is PRICE. We’ve had a rude shock about the costs involved. So many hidden costs that we’ve had to relook at what we can afford to do a few times already. And I’m sure that will happen again and again. The funny thing is that I was so excited to do this renovation from an aesthetic point of view initially but the joy has kinda been sapped from the project now that I know how much it’s going to cost and that the pretty Moroccan tiles I love are not in the budget. In fact bricks and cement are pretty much the only things in our budget right now! Right now I’m just hoping to make it out alive… still married and solvent would be great extras. 😉
1 Blog – Yes this very blog is adding to my stress. Not in a way that I was to pack it all in. Never. But in the way that I am just not able to spend as much time on it as I would like. And I miss it. Plus I feel the guilt when I don’t post something every day. I know I’ve set myself up for this expectation… and it’s not for lack of content. I have soooo much I want to write about. So much I need to write about – events and products I’ve enjoyed and want to share with you. I just don’t have the time. As one person blogging is a tough gig. There are SO many aspects you need to do to keep things ticking over smoothly. And writing a post is just one of them. At the moment every chance I get to spend on my blog I am trying to put into optimising the back end. So it’s the stuff you don’t see but you do experience. I’m trying to get the site as small and fast as possible. I’m not sure if that is possible. After more than 5 years of daily blogging this site is not small. So I’m contemplating moving to a more dedicated server to reduce the down time my site’s been having. (Huge apologies if you’ve been on the receiving end of an error message. My site is now over 10Gigs which is causing some issues but please know I’m on it. Don’t give up on me yet!) Plus once that’s all sorted I’m quite keen to do a rebrand… but finding the head space for that right now is impossible!! Anyway I’m hoping to get back on track and catch up with all my draft posts and ideas soon. Or never. Who knows! All I’m asking for is grace xx
1 Email Inbox – It never ends. And I apologise if you’re waiting for a reply from me. I get over 200 emails a day and currently have 250 important ones waiting for replies. I need a PA! Obviously the offers for money jump to the top of the queue… (FYI if you’re a brand keen to work with me) and then the others get a look in if I have chance during the day amidst all the other chaos…
So that’s me.
I could do with some support! A PA, An Au-Pair, A full time domestic, A Lift Club, An Assistant. But the reality is that I’m it. In all these roles it’s just me… No one else is really able to help me with all this. I often wish someone would just pull up and save the day. But the reality is that I need to pull it together.
The truth is that I’m not the only one struggling to keep it all together. There are moms working full time and doing all of the above. There are moms studying or working night shifts. Single moms. Grannies with grandkids doing this alone and on far less income. There are a million other moms across the country, the world, pushing through each day with a ton of responsibilities weighing on their shoulders. And I’ll tell you what…. it’s a lonely place! The problem is we’re all in it.
Each one of us is drowning under the busyness that is modern motherhood. But we suffer in silence. No one speaks. No one shares. So many of us are struggling through each day. Surviving…. but only just!
The thing is I don’t have the answer. I wish I did. But who can help us? I would love more hands-on help from grannies/ domestics/ nannies but that’s not always forthcoming or available. And my friends are all in the same boat and not able to help out either. There doesn’t seem like there is much point to this whiny post in fact due to the fact that I’m not a unique mom in a unique situation. I’m pretty generic.
Except there is a point… because we can help each other. With solidarity and support and appreciation and love.
In fact, a hug would go a very long way right now! And that would benefit two, right!!???
So, how are you?? Feel my pain of modern motherhood? Please share in the comments below. Your solidarity would be so appreciated