Becoming you has recently turned 1 and has it been a wild ride! Over the course of my blogging journey I have experienced some wonderful highs, more than a few lows and many bumps along the way!
The highs have been very exciting – attending an exclusive O Magazine event as the offical blogger and sitting at the “media” table, being interviewed on The Power Within, on SABC 3 and receiving wonderful feedback, both in person and via email, from lovely readers who have told me how much they enjoy my blog and how it’s helped them. All of this has been amazing and I’m so blessed to have experienced a year like this….
However, the nature of blogging is such that it may appear to my readers that my life is perfect – with an ideal family, invites to glamorous events and plenty of freebies sent my way. I do admit that to outsiders (and by that I mean anyone who doesn’t live with me!) things look pretty peachy! But, I am only human and so I have to be honest and write a bit of a “disclaimer” of sorts and say that even though I love blogging and feel like I have found my “thing” – I do struggle with some aspects of it. In some ways it has brought a few of my less “choice” personality traits to the fore – a good example is envy, otherwise commonly known as “blog envy”! I don’t believe I am alone in this particular struggle but it’s definitely an area where I am constantly being challenged and obviously this is good in a way as it makes me grow! But it’s hard! It’s definitely something I need to ask forgiveness for – often!
In real life (IRL) I have always battled a bit with comparing myself to others and now through blogging there are tangible ways to compare – such as someone else’s beautiful design, great photography, pageviews, money-making opportunities, well-written content, number of comments or Facebook likes! The list is endless! Now my rational self realizes that all of this is completely futile because each blogger is unique and has a part to play in the huge world of blogs but my insecure, irrational self sometimes forgets!! I do hope I’m not the only one who struggles with feelings of discouragement and covetousness after visiting a particularly pretty page? I would love to know if I’m not…
On the other side of this I realize that I might actually be a blogger that newer bloggers feel this way towards… And if that is the case I just want to say “You are not alone”. Although it may appear from your point of view that I have it all together on the home and blogging front. I most certainly do not. My house is not perfect – it’s messy and chaotic and most certainly not designer, my patience runs thin which means I shout and swear on occasion. But due to the nature of blogs you will hardly ever see this side of life portrayed online, here or elsewhere. We all want to put our best face forward, to remember the good things and gloss over the ugly, messy bits!
When it comes to blogging I am also always hoping for a few more hits than yesterday, a great comment or a few more “likes” on Facebook. I think we all are aiming for more no matter what level of success we reach. But the truth is that although our blogs might be an extension of ourselves, they are not our complete selves. We need to re-evaluate where we are getting our identity from! Ultimately the numbers mean nothing – all to often we are looking at someone who’s been blogging for many more years than ourselves. We need to step back and get a bit of perspective. Will any of this matter in 5, 10, 50 years time?? Didn’t think so!
So after reading an interesting article about how women don’t encourage each other enough in life I want to say the following:-
Keep at it, don’t compare, write for yourself and not your audience or stats! Blog for the right reasons – the original ones which made you start blogging. Stop looking at the stats or if you can’t ignore Analytics then compare your blog to your own blog from a few months ago. Most likely your hits will have increased and at least you know you’re comparing to a similar market! It’s advice I’m going to start taking myself! It’s more important to be myself and celebrate my own small successes. You may still be discouraged by the success of others but at least you will know how to rise above it!
In the words of a Amy, from Blogging with Amy, a blogger much wiser than I:
Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to. Don’t sell yourself short by entertaining, embracing and nurturing those thoughts.
If you are also struggling with this issue you might enjoy these articles which I came across about this subject. They were written by Amy from Blogging with Amy.
Read them here:
How do you not get discouraged by the success of others
How to sabotage your blog and your life
As always – comments are welcome ;)